Happiness Can Exist Only In Acceptance

[HPoirot]

Thank you LITB and Vanilla. I did do what's best for S12 Vanilla. Last night I said we would go sledding today and he was looking forward to it.

No LITB... I did not let her know I had plans. I just said no thank you and gave her no other explanation. I did not respond to her texts explaining why she wanted to pick him up today. I understand how that could be seen as rude.

I know I'm on my way to being detached from her. Accepting we no longer have an R despite how I feel about it. Accepting she will do whatever she wants with no regard for my feelings. So I'm working to leave my feelings on the shelf. I do see I have a ways to go.

Unfortunately, I'm feeling the loss of her a little today. Feeling a desire to reach out to her and know where she is. I'm not choosing the right thoughts right now so I'm writing here to admit my feelings and then let them go.

Fortunately, I have an IC appointment over the phone today. I'm going to ask that we really move forward on how she can help me detach.

B/c honestly I did backslide emotionally and I can't afford to. I feel down and distracted. I'll come back. Just typing that and sitting up straight and putting a smile on my face made me feel better. I just have to keep choosing to feel better.

Just keep going.