Phone rings at 0630 EST, I answered because I thought it was an emergency with the kids but W needed me to jump start her mother's car. On my way to her mother's, W calls again to ask for my tax filing plan, S's social security card and SS's school account login information. NC is getting a bit more difficult.
I have been reading a lot of Starsky's, sandi's and Train's posts lately and implemented them in my DB plan. I have noticed a lot of immediate changes with the W. It might a little too soon to really think she is making a turn and I don't really expect her. Also, I don't know for sure if the changes I've made are the cause of her sudden change of behavior(correlation does not equal causation)and I might be putting too much weight into this development. My W has never been one to show a lot of emotion, her actions are the way she expresses herself. I feel as if she is trying to get closer to me but I keep my life a mystery to her.
Also, we used to have a common married female friend who has kept in touch with me and is very disappointed in W due to her wanting for D. She was kind of mentor to the W until she recommended that she tried MC. The W did not like that. Nevertheless, the friend calls to check on me, not unusual. I never say much. I let her do all the talking and I listen.
She called to say that I needed to let go. It has been long. I deserve better and that W's reasons for D are absurd. When she married a military man, she should have known that prolonged absences are the norm and her lack of self esteem and insecurities are not an excuse for abandoning her H upon his return from an oversea deployment. She didn't give you the opportunity to show her the love and affection she missed while you were away. To leave a good man for an immoral man is a recipe for a repeat failure. I applaud you for fighting for your M. You are only showing how good of a H you actually are. I would have understood if you were a cheater, an abuser or an overall bad person but you are none of those. You've worked on your trauma which was your only flaw. You showed her how much you loved her even when you were 1000's of miles away. I know because she would not shut up about the things you did for her, what you bought her and the things you said. But, I need you to know that woman is gone. Let her go. She will soon realize the mistake she is making, but I want you to find someone who will give you the love you deserve. Do not waste your love and your heart on someone who does not value their worth. After all of that, she goes off in tangent about the W's possible OM and how she could have steeped so low and be with someone who is engaged. I listened. I chimed in to say that my W's choice is her own and I appreciate your concern.
I wanted to share this conversation because it's what I've been told by those close to me and W.
In the end, my opinion is all that matters.
Me:28 W:24 M:4 years S5, SS5, S2 Separated: 07/01/14 DB:01/09/15 Possible OM, I didn't ask.
Me:28 W:24 M:4 years S5, SS5, S2 Separated: 07/01/14 Asked for D 1/09/15
