The part that gets to me the most is the "let's work on it" part. The implication that we could have worked TOGETHER to make things better. Instead I got the "YOU work on it" and then he went to work.
The resentment is rearing its ugly head again. Blah.
Let's not wallow, though, Calibri. The vacuuming can wait. What are you doing tonight after work?
I understand Ss. I am so upset. How does someone not say anything and then be done? It's a pattern. He did it to his ex-fiance, and how he's doing it to me.
I'm going to be someone's ex-wife. Typing that makes me want to throw up. Like projectile vomit.
What it boils down to is this -- from best I can understand. He doesn't know what he wants in life. With ANYTHING. This whole trying to work on things with me this month. I think Zelda hit the nail on the head. He wanted to talk, he wanted to see me compete -- I think he wanted those things when they were effortless and easy. But, and this is where it gets cloudy, I don't think he knows if he wants to work on it because he wants to be with me, or because he's wanting to people please me. And if it's the latter, it isn't fair to either one of us.
But my god, it hurts SO BAD.
Last night I went and worked out -- and cried on the running part of the workout. But it was dark and outside and no one could see.
And then I came home and sobbed on the phone to my sil (who just filed for separation herself, from my H's brother), my mom, and another friend.
This all could have been avoidable. This is all bullshit.
Last edited by Calibri; 01/27/1504:15 PM.
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
