wife during deployment EA/PA another service membe

[Train]

I said if you need something write it there. I said other than that go find yourself, get clarity and become happy. And I am going to live my life. Was that the wrong thing to say?

When you said, "Go find yourself ... become happy," is that what you really meant? Because as a woman with one foot out the door, I read that as: Okay, he's giving me permission to go find myself and find happiness, which he hasn't given me. Awesome! My H just gave me PERMISSION to go sleep with OM! Yay!

Is that the message you were trying to give her? If not, then yes, you sent the wrong message.

Listen, broken, there's a fine line between being tha man and being THE man. There's a huge difference between being cocky and confident.

As a woman, and when I put myself in your W's shoes and read the words, "I am going to live my life," I honestly scoff. Actually, I LOL. Because if you were going to "live your life," you would have never taken time to write that to me. You would have just done it.

Your WORDS don't mean a thing. Your *actions* DO. Make sense?

I forgot to mention that I have filed a investigation against the other military man. For adultery and un-becoming of a non-commissioned officer. So she is not happy about that! Was this a bad move.
To me (and one or two others here)? Nope. Not a "bad" move, per se. We did it, too. Did it bring our spouses back to us immediately? No. Again, sometimes you take a hit in the "nice" department for the greater good. (Exposure of an A to employers, for the record, is absolutely NOT in line with DB/MWD's philosophy. There are other techniques that encourage it, but DB doesn't.) Starsky can speak to this once he's (hopefully) back soon, because God knows I can't replace his wisdom right now ... even though I'm trying a little in his absence. Lol (sigh). It was a risky move. Possibly a "fruitless" move, actually, at least in the short-term, for your M. It was maybe even a move that will push your W further away for a bit. But if you're going to fight for your M - and be CONSISTENT in the fight (and by that, I mean TRULY consistent, using the same tough-love approach with little-to-no wavering) - I wouldn't call it a "bad" move. My H, once he returned to our M, thanked me for fighting so hard for our M when I made moves like the one you made. Starsky's W, from what I read and he has said, said the same thing to him when she returned to their M.

I have been contacted by a few members of the acrobatiks group and they all figured out on their own what is happening. They think that I make a great base for smaller women to do Arial stunts..

My question is,do you think it's too soon, and would this mess things up if wife finds out or see's me.
If I understand this correctly, you're asking if you should join the same group your W and OM are involved in? If that's the case, my advice would be a big, fat NO! Do NOT do that.

Are you trying to win your W back? Or push her further away?

What's your goal here, broken?

I sense a lot of ego and testosterone. And I LIKE that we're working with that. But pull it in and don't let it get the best of you. Make it work FOR you. Not AGAINST you.

Capeesh?