Hp don't beat yourself up. You are doing really well and we all have days that are better than others. The important thing is to leave that day in the past and move forward to a new day.
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.