" So, I simply wanted my own pain to stop, ----right flippin’ now. I had that all-too-common feeling of wanting something back that wasn’t serving me well, but it was familiar and dammit I just don’t want to hurt anymore so give me back that thing that was bad."

^^^^^^ That is one of the most insightful statements that hits home for me. H wasn't treating me well for quite awhile before BD- yet I was devastated. But it was familiar, and long standing, and of course there's that whole commitment thing! But the R was not serving me well- it was hurting me deeply.

Looking at it this way is helpful- I needed to be out of what it had become and so did you. Love your way of being able to capture the deep stuff so well- you are most definitely AWESOME!

Me 41 H 40
M 20 T 23
S 19,16, 8 D 13
BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work
BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D
Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015
Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown