Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[Mozza]

I have a therapist of the Freudian kind, which means that he listens a lot and does not direct the therapy as much as I do with my ramblings. It takes time, but I feel like we're doing deep work. The most salient feature is that he's not focused on my M, but on me. He's interested in my reactions to the S, but he won't be dragged into strategies to R. His stance is always: "Maybe she'll come back, maybe she won't. I don't know, you don't know, she doesn't know." I'm fine with it now. I find his focus on me and my traits refreshing because it's so different from everything else.

He's suggesting that my W left me because she had the courage that I didn't have. That I was pushing her away with my behavior would mean that I wanted to S, but wouldn't for some reason. He's also suggesting that my current pain is linked to my lack of confidence around women because I don't want to be confronted to the need of attracting someone new. This is very challenging for me and quite opposite to what I think myself, but I agree to ride with it and see where it goes.

I'm writing all of this to give you an idea of the kind of insights that you get with a therapist that's into psychoanalysis. It would be interesting to clarify with your therapist to which school of thought he belongs: humanist, psychoanalysis, or cognitive. I'm surprised that your therapist already jumped to conclusions that it can't happen with one person. MWD seems to suggest to run away from these.

Sorry, no firm opinion on the bedroom question.