I am disappointed you did not make a goal to do something about your anger problem. I mean after all, you talk about it so much and whenever backed into a corner, that is your answer.........you just get so angry, the arguments get so heated, you have so much hatred for OM. etc.
It is good you prayed for OM, if it was for his happiness. Sure it wasn't with the thought your own M would be secure if his M would heal? Anyway..........maybe pray for yourself, that God would take the anger out of your heart.
I don't want you to think I am picking this to death, but as much as it has come up......I think it is a bigger issue than you may realize, or admit to yourself. If you don't get control, you are going to lose your W, and you won't have an A or OM to blame it on. You are doing it all by yourself!
Stop using anger for your excuse to act badly. Do something about now.
I included letting go of my hatred of OM as doing something about my anger, but I see your point. I did pray for his healing; I'll admit I was thinking win-win, but that's fine. I'd love it if everyone involved came out on the other side with their marriages renewed. The way my W talks, she doesn't see OM as a viable option any more either. For the record, I did pray for my W's healing as well.
I don't think I realized how angry I was. I've felt numb a lot of the time to be honest. My mindset has actually been worse in the last couple of weeks than it was back in, say, November. I still feel good about myself and the changes I'm making, and I know I'll be fine if we do D, but for some reason I have been angrier lately. Don't get the impression that I scream at or berate my W; I don't, but I know I let myself slide into anger more than I should. I feel like I get pummeled with the same things every day: "I'm not in love with you." "I'm not sexually attracted to you.", etc. And I just get tired of being told every day how much I screwed up her life. I try to control things and make her see reason, even though I know that's pointless.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
