Sorry for your situation. Very similar to mine. Cadet is spot on. You have to gal and detach. Spend time with your kids. It's tough. I'm struggling. What you have to understand is your wife checked out a long time ago. She doesn't see you as you see her. You cannot control that but you can control you. There are loads on here with same story all at different stages, some years. What you find is the sooner you detach the better it will be. The people who have managed this seem to have developed an inner calm. They no longer worry about their wife's as they realised it is futile as you can't control their actions. They work on themselves. Being a better person and parent. The end result is that you become a better person with or without your spouse. Some reconcile others don't. Thats not really the point. The whole idea is about you becoming a better person. If that's with your wife, brilliant if not you will have new found skills to make your next relationship stronger I have a long road but the shared experiences in here give me hope. Hpoirot is a good one.
Not wanting to give you false hope but most affairs fail as they are built on lies and deceit. we all know the grass is rarely greener. Try telling that to your wife though....no actually don't don't take it to mean though that your wife will come out of the fog one day and think wtf have I done. She might still not want her marriage back but on the same hand neither might you. I think if your honest to yourself you see that you weren't happy either. I was the same so why would I want that back. My ego? To protect my daughter? Going back to the same would only see the same outcome again a few years further on.
Chin up
Plenty on here who understand and give good practical honest advice.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
don't take it to mean though that your wife will come out of the fog one day and think wtf have I done. She might still not want her marriage back but on the same hand neither might you. I think if your honest to yourself you see that you weren't happy either. I was the same so why would I want that back. My ego? To protect my daughter? Going back to the same would only see the same outcome again a few years further on. 