The reason I want to file a legal separation is only to protect myself and the kids financially. That's all.
Yes, the process for Legal separation in Colorado is exactly the same as a Divorce process. So it's just 1 tiny step for the D because either part can turn the separation into D at any time.
My fear? My H is known to spend a lot of money that he does not have (one of our biggest fights always). I work part time, did not change to full time yet and even if I do, my pay check can't afford to pay mortgage, utilities and food. So, I need my H's money to keep paying for at least these bills.
If H stop his deposit on our joint bank account, then I will be in serious problems since it would take about 1 1/2 to 2 months to get a court order for him to start depositing maintenance and child support.
There is also the fact that he can take all his retirement and just spent it. If he does it, the money is gone and because we are still legally married and did not file any paper yet, I will just count my losses.
I went to the bank to check about the mortgage and his rights on selling the house. The financial person said that since the house is only in his name that he can sell it anytime and does not need my signature. Maybe the court will disagree with it but he can do it and give 50% of the money, but I won't buy a house like mine for the same price anymore. So I will just count my losses again.
Not saying that since he is so in love with this OW, he can put me in a corner just because money. He can say that he will help or deposit some money only if I agree to his terms and conditions, and he wants to avoid paying 5 to 9 years of alimony.
So, I got all this in my head and tough... what is more important right now. That I keep trying to see if the elephant leaves the room (OW)? Or if my idiot H will get real and stop being a teenager and wants to work on our marriage?
Or should I think it does not matter, because if one day he decide to come back we can even be divorced and it would happen. It makes more difficult but not impossible.
What I have to lose? Since end of July 2014 my H keep in the same position, that he will move on, he had some sliding coming to cry and say he was confused, but he never changed his position on this. H also asked me to talk about separating our finances, and he even proposed me a divorce agreement.
So I do not see the part of he wants to at least go to couples counseling, talk about how we could have any chance on reconciliation, nothing... a big nothing. It's just escalating, he now have this B**ch here, in the same city as myself, still his wife and his children.
I really don't want to do this legal separation and much less a D, but I need to think more realistic and leave any emotions out of business. A friend of mine divorced beginning of last year, she got very emotional and hopeful and at the end she lost her house and a lot of money because her XH went parting hard, even in Vegas. Money was gone, so the house needed to be gone too. Today she lives in a rental that takes most of her salary away.
To say the truth, I am very confused, I feel that if I do it, then I will be pushing my H to farther away from me and if I don't I can end up crying on the milk spilled.
At some point I asked myself...Who is more important for you? Your Kids or your H? And I choose my kids. Even if H never comes back, even if he gets all mad and never talks to me again, even if I need to fight with him and the whole DBing goes to hell, I still choose my children, period.
I won't put any paper for at least two weeks. H is traveling to Brasil on 1/31 an will be back in the USA 2/15. So, I have time, some time in case something happen and I can see some sign of anything positive.
I love you guys, and thank you very much for all your help. It's a lot easier to think when you have some input from other people's experience.
