Hello, I apologize but there is no way for this post to be short. I deployed in January of 2014 my W of 4 years begged me not to go. I actually had to choice to stay or go. I ended up talking her into being ok with me going. I thought this was best for us and my career. Things seemed to go as good as they could while there. I missed her terribly, in June she flew to Italy and we toured Venice and then Croatia. Things where perfect. In august she asked me if she could start doing acrobatics with a guy she worked with at the gym. I said baby go for it if it takes your mind off of me being gone.biggest mistake ever!!!! She started doing acrobatics daily. She became distsntand she started hanging with her friends allot. Around September one month before I was set to come home she called me crying sayin she missed me so much and she was tired of feeling so sad, lonely, and empty. She said she felt vulnerable. But at that moment I did not know what I could do about it. I asked her to be strong and know that I will be home in a month. I SaiD just continue to do things to take your mind off the time. Things seemed to get better. I returned home October 25th. My wife seemed like the same amazing loving wife At first but when I met her at the airport she hugged me a sobbed a little more than I expected, I felt like somthing was off but I didn't say anything. two days after I came home I was playing on her tablet and OM sends her a text saying he misses her and was hoping to hear from her. I instantly was like what is this and what is going on. She admitted that her and brian had been texting back and forth and it had crossed the line. She was just so lonely and it felt good to get attention. I instantly did the wrong thing. I made demands that she stop talking to this man all together and only see him at work and acro. She agreed to my face but the very next day emailed him about the incident and told him to just email from now on. Man this hurt. I could tell by the emails things were more than friends. And there is problem #2 for me i spied on her emails and texts. We went on a trip for Halloween that same day I was angry and hurt and I let it show. We had a major fight that night. In the morning we talked and she admitted to kissing him once and she felt horrible about it and they talked. And knew it could never happen again. We made up and went on my post deployment R&R trip for almost 3 weeks. Everything was amazing and seemed to get back to normal. She was her normal self. But as soon as we came back eveything changed. OM sent her an email saying he loved her and wanted her to leave me. This started the true downward spiral. We would fight often and I would get hurt and angry because she would do everything behind my back. She changed all her passwords and everything. She started seeing a psychologist and so did I with the intent of also going together. Her psychologist convinced her that he felt this man was just an emotional attachment because I preyed on her while she was extremely vulnerable. She decided to have no contact with him for an entire month and see how she felt. During this time she admitted to me to sleeping with him in september. She went through extreme depression the first few days, but she seemed be getting better. But she refused to avoid her part time job where he works as well. She claimed if she didn't talk to him it wouldn't matter. And no matter what myself or anyone said she wouldn't hear it. We made it less than two weeks. On the 15th of Jan. She bought him a birthday card. My birthday is the 18th his is the 16th. I did not receive a card and i found a receipt on the 19th while cleaning she lied at first then came clean. I decided I had to leave even though we were not done with the one month. We met two days later and had a nice talk. Although she blamed it on me saying i gave up on the month thing and that it was only a card. When asked if she felt anything everytime she saw him she said yes. So i said so we were doomed from the start because you knowingly continued to see him even if it's not talking. She got really angry at that. But She had broken her promise. So we decided that if we had not talked within two months we would meet and see were we are at. She Said she needed space to fix herself and find herself. Within 3 days she was back to talking and going to acrobatics with brian. I talked with her on the 23rd and she asked if we could at least keep the lines of communication open and be cordial. I asked her what her plans are and if she is planning on finding how things would Be with brian she said no I'm just trying to take care of myslef and try and find a way to be happy again. That night she stayed with brian and she has been with him ever since. I am at a lose on what to do. I just need help to see me through this. We were always inseparable and best friends. A few weeks ago she was crying harder then I have ever seen. And she said baby why didn't you listen to me about deployment. I needed you here and I wish you never would have gone. Then she said how can we ever get back what we had. Thank you in advance for your advice.
