Was the past 18 years just a waste?

[susana4]

I guess I am a control freak, somewhat. Being in limbo is so hard. I try to GAL but sadly I do not have many friends and no family at all. I have been out by myself though. I had a solo anniversary dinner last week. I was nice and pathetic at the same time.

Perhaps now is a good time to make some new friends (and reconnect with old ones)? Are there any groups or classes you could attend in the area and meet people? Do you have meetup.com in your area? You can search for your town, and your interests, and meet like-minded people (and make some new friends!)

I think going out by yourself is a good idea, too. I've been trying to do more of that - just going and reading in a coffee shop, or going to the movies.

Hi Susana,
Thanks for the reply. The cocaine use stopped and yes we did counseling alone and together regarding the drug use. I had to hide all my cards, check books, changed so many passwords, etc. It was so tough.

I thought we got through that especially I stuck with him from that, we would always be together. That he would love me forever and also bc somehow he owes me. I supported him through everything, even helped paying for his school.

I don't think it's healthy or helpful to have a 'he owes me' attitude. Do you think that could have fed into the problems? This might be something you want to do some soul searching on, and get a 180 in place.