Introduction - least creative title

[Closer2]

Sorry for not having very creative title. I'm not in the most creative of moods these days.

I am currently in what appears to be a "friendly" divorce with my wife of nearly 10 years. We have 2 children that I love more than my uncreative-self can describe. I love my wife very much (I was not good at showing it obviously).

My wife filed for divorce just before Christmas. Why is it so common for people to put such memorable stamps on the holidays?

I got the typical ILYBINILWY speech before she filed, but did know what it meant. There is an OM. I got confirmation on that NYE while at home and she was have a good time with OM. She is communicating with the OM. I'm sure the only thing that is stopping the PA is logistics.

She does not want to do any counseling or even entertain the thought of fixing our marriage. Both of us have been unhappy for a long time, but the guy in me wants to fix this. I can not even being to think about life as a part-time father.

I was not perfect in our marriage, but I never considered having an affair. I detached from our marriage and would get away from her by being on the computer, playing games, really doing anything to avoid her.

It was easy for me to detach then. Now that the bomb has been dropped, I'm having a hard time detaching. It was a massive wake up call for me. I quit avoiding her and I have started spending time with her. I actually like spending time with her now. I have become a better father during this process and spend as much time as I can with the kids and my wife. She likes the changes, but it is having no effect on our marriage.

I know these changes are a direct result her filing for divorce and her affair, but I can't imagine going back to the resentful a-hole I was before. I also know that I really need to detach from her, but I'm having difficulty doing that for a few reasons. First, we live in the same house. She is a stay at home mom and does not have a job yet. I feel dirty even thinking about kicking her out. She is great with the kids, on top of all the school stuff, etc. Second, we are getting along REALLY well. As a guy that spent the last several years hardly "doing it", I'm having a hard time saying "no". I do not want move out, but I also don't want her to leave.

I have made mistakes. I have done the begging, pleading, etc. etc. I'm stressed out because after the 60 day cooling off, this divorce will probably be finalized. My mistakes are a direct result of feeling a time crunch.

I feel like my only option is to just let her go. I'm having a hard time accepting that this process could take years. I fear that detaching will rebuild old walls between us and give her the free time to spend with the OM.

Anyway, I feel a bit better venting. I have been reading this forum for a few days and welcome any suggestions, feedback, or tips.