Surving the rollercoster

[Karma12]

Hi Wonka and Mozza,

Sorry I should have blocked the names. I didn't think first names would matter as they aren't full names. You are right Mozza it would have been better to post first. Even those of us that are level headed have our moments of weakness. when I realized the names were there I tried to edit but couldn't figure out how to.

Wonka we have a seperation agreement. H. Agreed to buy me out of my half of the house. He did that. He also agreed to pay me out $$ as soon as he was able to or by July of this year at the latest. I know he sold a piece of property and also received a pay out form his last employer. The agreement was made before I knew there was OW so I trusted him. Now not so much. I was very fair and trusted he would follow through. The reason for payout to me was because I had used my money to support us for a number of months. I didn't mind doing it at the time because I thought it will all balance out. I didn't know we would be splitting up so quickly following. H. earns much more than I do and has other propery and assets I never touched. He hasn't mentioned paying me and I'm a little worried he will delay or not follow through. I was telling the truth when I said I had arranged my mortgage around his paying me. I also left all of the furniture as it would have been too big for my condo and didn't ask for any extra money as I thought the pay out was fair. We did not have a prenup and I could have asked for half of everything including his other properties. I didn't. I only wanted back what was mine to start with.

Here the banks won't deal with you unless you have a seperation agreement. It is not a divorce so you can't remarry but it is still legal and binding. If you chose to divorce then the seperation agreement becomes part of the divorce. There is nothing else to do expect to file.

I do think my H. Is/has been in a MLC. He has even admitted it himself. He went through the depression and withdrawal stage. It was like he checked out and our marriage nose dived.

I am thinking Divorce may be the better option for me. 25yrs and others on the board have all suggested I do as well as my own friends and family. I need closure. I still feel too married. Plus I don't want to be his plan B. I feel like his getting closer to me a couple months ago set me back.


I agree with what you are saying Wonka. I know that WAS say things they don't mean. I have to agree though with what 25yrs said to me. I don't want to hold hope that he's going to have a light bulb go off. It's been 2.5 yrs already. I felt like the letter was closure for me. Some of it he will understand more than others reading he because he does know our history. I can't unsend it now.

Thanks for your help. I really am strong and independent. I do live my life. This has been a process. Please stick with me.