I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[Frank75]

You sound wonderfully ripe for change. That's a great time for going. Besides, If not now, when?

Did you check out that personal growth workshop called "Essential Experience"? (Sorry but now I'm not even sure if I told you specifically about it but), it's in Philadelphia. It's also called "EE" for short.

It is for individuals to work on their issues, whether from work related problems or childhood issues resurfacing, alcohol, temper, or just some obstacles to overcome or goals to clarify, "EE" is excellent for it.

For me, therapy was usually very helpful. But some times it was "fragmented" B/c right after I had an insight or breakthrough, I'd have to go back to work or pick up the kids. Therapy was only an hour. The next week I'd have to regroup and start over.

So at times, for me, a long weekend workshop like EE was more effective at creating change and sticking to it. Definitely the most profound workshop I've attended, and since then I've gone back a few times to do "team", which is like a free refresher course.

You would get A LOT out of it, I think. Anyhow, just check out their website.

Then in time, if your w is amenable, attending Retrovaille is also a great idea. But it's for couples, not individuals. We went to that when we began piecing, which was a lot harder than I expected, and it was just what we needed then.

But that's down the road. For now, start with a good counselor. If you don't connect well enough with them after a few meetings (very few, imo) then find another one.

You want to have a good fit, so you trust them, and so you believe you will dig deeply enough (or they'll help you with that) and of course you want to feel supported and not judged.


My gut feeling is that you have a ways before getting to that point. (So maybe Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow...?).

Hang in there! GOOD LUCK, keep on keeping on.[/color]

It wasn't me but thanks for the info, i'll definitely check out that EE seminar. My family actually lives in the philly burbs so that might be perfect for when i visit.

I did hear about that Retrovaille thing before i think, but is it religious based? My wife is pretty adamantly atheist so that would be a big ask to get her to go even if they didn't bring faith into the actual process.

I'm searching for counselors now, i'll need to drive 5+ hours round trip for one but it will be worth it.

I'm definitely a long way from that point but that's part of my personality (problem also maybe). I'm always a big picture thinker and plan things out, even things far in the future. That's also a major source of conflict between me and my wife....she's a verrrry small picture, laser-focused type thinking. Which i think also played into this breakup, once she focused on me as a source of unhappiness that was it until i am gone And i don't mean to place any blame on her, that's just how her brain works.