Yes, I know the usual advice would be not to talk to W's BF, but we've also been friends for over 20 years too. Our family's go on holiday together and see each other most days etc. She has said that I can go see her to talk and if I need a shoulder to cry on, she would support me. She's also told me that she really does want us to get back together but that she can't influence W in any way. I don't ask her to tell W anything or convince her in any way, that wouldn't be fair on her (obviously it wasn't very fair of me to ask her about an OM but I was in such a mess about it), and she doesn't tell me anything W is saying to her either.
You're right that my W is gone. She left over a year ago probably and was replaced by some weak imitation of her who was pretending to work on our R and M. I didn't realise that at the time, in fact, this imposter should get an Oscar for their performance. Like most people's stories, I just thought that our issues were just the normal ups and downs of marriage, I didn't know she was tipping all the downs onto a scale and leaving them there.
Like my own, I hope your sitch improves RD, or that you are able to come to terms with it for your own sake and start to live again.
Barry
Me 40 W 38 T 23 M 21 S21 S19 D16 S14 BD 19/12/2014 D mentioned 27/2/2015. I filed 08/04/2015, D Absolute 04/11/2015
