wife just come home in sh1t mood takin it out on me. Whe she is like this just confirms I want out.
off skating now whoohoo
Does her mood really dictate what you want for your life? Not saying I haven't had this same thought, but think about what you're saying here. It speaks volumes for where your mental state is at right now. Detachment means you are not up and down with her mood swings. Think about yourself as being an emotional rock and work towards that.
UpperCut Me: 28 W: 25 Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home) S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15) No kids
I am going to borrow something Starsky has told LBH'S. When you have a WAW in an A, and when she comes home in a terriffic mood......that is usually a sign she has had a fix from her AP. If she is not in a great mood, that usually means things are not going well between the lovers or she has not had a fix in a while.
Why do you keep saying you can't detach when she is so friendly, or is sitting next to you having a nice evening, etc.? What does detaching mean to you?
Hey Sandi
Yeah makes perfect sense. She was out with her friend though as she dropped her off. Maybe a text. who knows. I shouldnt care. In the morning she had been in "work" what ever that means then came home in a really bad mood. Talking down to me like she has for so long. When she is like that i just think I want out and remember why i have wanted out for a long time but never done it as always hoped things would improve. I do know she musnt be seeing him like she was (outside work). Mysterious trips to London have not happened. Again why should I care. I suppose detaching for me is being at the point where i dont care. Where my every waking moment is not consumed by this. For me it seems the only way that will happen is if im not near her at all. She see's me as her best friend. If im honest to myself I have to wonder why do i even want this person. I wouldnt have strayed myself if i was happy and i havent been happy for the last few years. this would blow up every few months and then dissapear but pushing us further apart. If I step back and be objective id have to question my motives for wanting to stay with this person. Male pride? no one likes to lose do they.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Hi SRD, yes I think examining your motives is really important. I have read some content on this forum about 'winning' back your spouse because you don't want to 'lose.' But when you have 'won' your prize, what happens then. I think it is important to dig quite deep here, and really think about how you want the rest of your life to be - overcome the element of wounded pride you feel (understandably.)
I hadn't realised you were from the UK SRD....until you posted 'bessie mates,' and I thought - ooh, he's British! There are quite a few Brits on the board - including me. Which part of the UK are you from?
Last edited by Toots; 01/26/1508:50 AM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
My mood is definatley all over the place. It has only been just ovr a week since i found out what has been going on. Before that i sent 6 months trying to rescue and already sunken ship.
Do i feel better than last week? yes. my appetite has come back a bit. Do i still think about this situation all the time im awake? Yes. Do i have moments of thinking rationally with clarity? Yes. I know i will over time move on. Thanks to all you guys for the support. It really does mean a lot to me. I dont know how i would cope if you werent around to listen to my sh!t. It is comforting to know that there are lots of others going through similar situations (sad as it is) and even more who have come out the other side. The sad thing is by by the time you've learnt the skills on here necessary to make your marriage work it is too late. You're already in trouble.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
I cycled into work today which is always good. A woman in the office was flirting with me. I know i know nothing in it but stroked my ego a little. To be honest my sex drive has completly dissapeared since this all came out
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Just seen my mum. She is still distant. We just dont have the relationship anymore. She bought me a coffee and was checking im ok. Saying to just look after myself. I couldnt bring myself to tell her whats going on apart from i need to move out. She pretty much guessed. She's been through it herself with my dad years ago. I didnt say anything. She gave me a hug and left me to it. Feel like im closer to my dad now which is very odd as I spent nearly 30 years with either no relationship or very strained one with him and he also lives 300 miles away so rarley see him.
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Hi SRD, yes I think examining your motives is really important. I have read some content on this forum about 'winning' back your spouse because you don't want to 'lose.' But when you have 'won' your prize, what happens then. I think it is important to dig quite deep here, and really think about how you want the rest of your life to be - overcome the element of wounded pride you feel (understandably.)
I hadn't realised you were from the UK SRD....until you posted 'bessie mates,' and I thought - ooh, he's British! There are quite a few Brits on the board - including me. Which part of the UK are you from?
Hey toots
Manchester area
Me and my northern slang
Me:40 W:35 D:8 T:13 M:10 WAW: 7/14 PA Discovered: 1/15 at least 6 months Moved out and moved on
Hi SRD, yes I think examining your motives is really important. I have read some content on this forum about 'winning' back your spouse because you don't want to 'lose.' But when you have 'won' your prize, what happens then. I think it is important to dig quite deep here, and really think about how you want the rest of your life to be - overcome the element of wounded pride you feel (understandably.)
I hadn't realised you were from the UK SRD....until you posted 'bessie mates,' and I thought - ooh, he's British! There are quite a few Brits on the board - including me. Which part of the UK are you from?
A lot of times you have to look at what you are "winning". Sometimes you are winning someone who will betray you badly, put you in harms way and does not care about you at all.
