You should start job searching out of state or across the state or even a couple towns over. If you could land a tremendous offer somewhere far away your wife would have to decide whether it was worth it to follow you to a big career opportunity or stay put for a lame relationship with some loser OM.

You - guy who fosters children and adopts them
OM - loser who dates and pursues married women

She's keeping you around for a reason. You must be meeting some of her needs. If you move far away (or give the perception you intend to) she'll need to consider life without you meeting those needs. OM is likely incapable of meeting those needs. He's stuck in his town paying his ex-cheating wife alimony and child support. He's also single now so he could date anyone so why bother with a married woman when there's other fish in the sea.

The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!