To Pursue or Not

[Arcola]

Its been a while so I figured an update was due. W and I are still separated. W and I took the kids to a nearby city for some outlet mall shopping and activities. Convo exchange was good and I remained upbeat. I learned she's renewing her lease for another 6 months come March. Our time with the kids was pleasant, but W still isn't where she used to be. For example, I bought 3 pair of shoes, 3 pair of pants, and 2 shirts and she didn't ask once how much they cost. Prior to BD she'd always ask how much something cost or at least comment on it. Just an observation.

I've learned that I shouldn't wait for her on some things and just take action myself. Yesterday when I looked at bank acct. I saw W's check hadn't deposited. It didn't put me in a bad situation or anything, but for about 4 weeks prior I had asked if we good go to the bank to iron things out and also switch over our direct deposit at the same time since we both have our own accts. now, but something would always come up. I thought we'd do it together, but as I saw yesterday that wasn't the case. So lesson learned, don't wait to take action.

OM is probably still in the picture. Since BD, I've encountered OM twice. Once was at Wal Mart about 5 weeks ago. I was coming around an aisle and bam! there he was. I simply said hi and kept going. It was one of those, yeah I know this person, let me speak type encounters for me. Afterwards, anger came back over me and I'm like why did I even speak to this guy. The 2nd encounter was this past Fri. at D9's talent show at the after school program she goes to. His daughter, my D9, and another girl were doing a song together. He was sitting on the row in front of me to my left. This time I didn't speak and he never looked back at me. He didn't even turn around to say anything to my W while I was there. I don't know who was seated first, whether W and little ones or OM, but I came in late and sat with W and little ones. Moreover, his ex-wife was there and she didn't sit with him she stood the entrance to the auditorium the whole time. From my understanding she cheated on him as to why the got a divorce. Another observation.

Its been about 6 or 7 months now since BD and my days are better. Nonetheless, there are still a few days I think of the whole situation and it may get me down. I'm doing my 180s and some GAL which needs to be stepped up a bit, but overall my days are way better than before. Months right after BD, I'd always think of W and OM, be mad, sad, all over the place, reading everything online while at work looking for that magic bullet. But as I said I'm better now.