Sounds like he learned to twist and turn and play semantics games from his mom, who simply excels if she can draw a framework where you're making 'rules' and his behavior is acceptable. Or hers. You can't argue with that kind of stupid. Some people are masters at drawing others into a seemingly reasonable sounding conversation and it's more like a fun house of mirrors, distortion, crazy-making twists and turns.
I know it is driving you crazy to think of all he said, did, all the conflicts. But to him, it was probably all true. He did want to help you, see you at your competition. He did want to work things out. He did want to explore the idea of other people. Want his boundaries, a divorce. It doesn't align and make any sense, and Idk if there are lies there, as much as the jumble in his own head. We all know how many thoughts and disparate feelings can exist beside each other. Most of us try not to inflict that mess on the people we love and speak before we can stand by our words.
I am so very sorry for all you're going through now.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
