I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[susana4]

Good luck, hope you can get an appointment tomorrow. Like seeing the doctor, there's no shame in calling a crisis hotline. Depending on the hotline and their purpose (if they're available for talking about any issue), they may be happy just to talk to you for 10 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, whatever you need, just so you have some support. If you feel like it might benefit you, you should go ahead and call them.

Part of what i'm working on is talking about my issues instead of holding them in. I never really gave thought to a crisis hotline until this time last week, i always thought they were all suicide watch type things but it makes sense for people with no one else to talk to about any sort of crisis. I definitely will call if i approach that low level again. I've been reading a lot about techniques to use when i feel panic type feelings coming on and so far they seem to be helping as well. Deep breaths/positive thoughts/etc. Thanks for helping me through this, Susana.

Of course, Frank, happy to support. This forum has really been an invaluable source of support for me so far! I think the crisis hotlines are great, in fact I think I may make a donation to my local one, they were so kind and they even offered to phone me later that week after our marriage counselling so I could talk to someone about how it went. It's also completely different to talking to a friend or family because they won't judge and they won't tell you what to do. I think talking more about your feelings sounds like a good idea and like a good 180 too.

I just saw your last post, your attitude sounds really good frank! And your plans for getting out and volunteering etc sound good. Do bear in mind you shouldn't push or convince your wife to come spend time with you but she may well find she misses you, or is curious enough if you make a lot of changes to your lifestyle and your overall level of happiness, that she is curious and wants to know what's going on. Good luck and hugs to you.