My Story

[susana4]

So here is my story. I met my wife 15 years ago in a chat room! We started talking alot. I never felt that kind of bond before. We talked everyday for hours and than she came to see me and we just hit it off. Shortly after she moved with her 3 children from her previous marriage. Their father did not have anything to do with them so I raised those kids like they were my own. We got married and have 2 children together. Our relationship has been good up till the past 8 months. We have had our fights. I have realized lately that I have been a little controlling and negative at times. There has always been a great deal of attraction between us. Sex life was great. One of our faults might have been that we always put our kids first. We did not do many things just the 2 of us. Last April my wife took this new job working from home. She works alot of hours and it is at night. So we don't see each other much. At about the same time, her youngest from her first marriage graduated from high school. He was her baby. She loves all of the kids, but something changed in her after that. She started pushing me away. She became obsessed about her appearance. She also made it a point to let me know when someone checked her out. She spent alot of time alone in her room during the day. Of course I did everything wrong. Bought flowers, tried to talk, caused lots of fights. Sex life started to die out which made it worse. I began snooping looking for evidence of cheating. I threatened divorce. I said I was sorry lots of times. Promised not to bring it up again. But I always ended up bringing it up. I guess I just thought that we are adults and should be able to talk about the problems and work through them. So I have been reading tons of books. I am still half way through Divorce Remedy. When I started reading that I began to see what I was doing wrong. Man what an eye opener! So I have been doing the things from the book for the past few weeks. I have noticed a few changes in her. But the weirdest thing is, before I started doing my 180's and working on me, she was still sleeping in the same bed as me. Now that I have started doing all this and acting "as if" and getting a life, she starts sleeping in another room. I did not say a word. Whatever! So I pray alot, read alot, work and take care of my kids. I am still just completely baffled by all this. Marriage is not a decision I take lightly. But I did not sign up to be a single parent. I chose this person to share my life with. I never imagined at 42 I would be playing dating games like I was in high school.

I'm new here and certainly not an expert in this but it sounds to me like your wife could be going through a mid life crisis. You might want to check out the mid life crisis board on this forum and the chapter in Divorce Remedy and see if you think so.