MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART V

[Zues126]

Hey It Hurts! Good to hear from you!

I'd advise against the message. It sounds like the dust is starting to settle for you. I understand you still have pangs, regret, etc. Totally fine.

I am going through something similar. I don't really miss my W. We had a bad M and I was nearly a WAH except I don't believe in that, I believe in growing and making it work. But it didn't go that way. Honestly I'm doing better in my life than I probably EVER have. Ever. Wow. That's great to write.

That said, I do think about WAW and our failed M almost daily. Not compulsively. But maybe 5-20 minutes a day I'll just kind of try to process what happened. See, it's so overwhelming and lifechanging it's just impossible to understand what even happened. Why did it go that way? Why couldn't it be turned around? Does she still think of me? What's her version of how things played out? Etc. My brain just churns the thoughts for a few minutes. But two things have changed. 1) It doesn't really hurt anymore. Yes, some pangs. But not pains. Like I'm kind of numb to it all and it's just a sad memory. 2) I lose interest in those thoughts quickly. It's like one of those ring puzzles you can't solve, you play with it a while then realize you can't get the ring off the other ring and just run out of things to try, so you put it down and move on to something else. Similarly, I've spun around in circles enough that my brain loses interest in the R and I go on with my day.

I think you need to keep on your detached road and allow this process to continue. Honestly, having interactions with you and your ex won't help you to do this. You need to let the fire die down, this will just pour gasoline on it. Don't do it. Your R is over and I suggest you don't pick the scab. Let yourself heal.

JMHO. Take care and stay in touch!