Had a flood of every emotion in the book right after she left... have been busy since then taking care of the kids and getting ready for the upcoming school week.
We did exchange a couple of emails after she left -- she had sent me an email with her flight info (just the first leg of the trip, of course) and she had left a Thank You card for me at the house. I replied to her flight info email with something like "Thanks for the info. Read your card. You are welcome. I hope the trip provides you with the space, rest, and peace to help you with everything. Don't worry about me and the kids. We will be fine. Take care, ..."
She replied back with another email thanking me again for the trip and re-stating that I shouldn't hesitate to contact her mom or a close friend to get some help if I need it, and asked that I remind the kids that she loves and misses them. I replied back to that with a very short "I will" in response to the request to remind the kids she loves and misses them. Tried to keep my replies very short and it was interesting to see her reply back with lengthier emails... Which is out of character for the MLCer she has become since the end of October.
From here on out -- we won't be communicating with each other for the next 10 days while she is on this trip.
I did slip up a tiny bit when she was about to leave the house... She gave all of the kids hugs and kisses and then walked over to me. I knew she wasn't going to hug and kiss me, so I looked up at her and she looked me in the eye and said "Thank you for letting go on this trip..." I wish I could have seen the look on my face -- I am sure it was a combination of anger, contempt, and exasperation (the thoughts running through my head were -- you really have the nerve to thank me for this considering what you are going to be doing on this trip with the OW and that you are lying to EVERYONE about where you are really going)... I just said "ok, you're welcome" but it was clear that my expression did not match my words because she said "Are you okay?" and I just shook my head and said "Yeah, I'm fine. have a good trip..." She continued to ask if I was okay and I continued to say yes -- the rest of the exchange is fuzzy now... Then just before she walked out the door I was able to recover a bit and I told her very nicely to have a safe trip and not to worry about us... and she was VERY nice as she left....
Her behavior before leaving the house and the repeated "thank you's" verbally and in writing screamed guilt with a capital G to me... But I don't think the guilt is at the conscious level at this point. I wish it were, but I really don't think it is....
So now my week begins... Already have some things planned to keep me busy (social activities with friends and for my mental/emotional/spiritual health), but also curious to see how these 10 days of zero contact between us will affect her. Maybe it won't affect her since she is so deep in Replay and madly "in love" with OW right now, but I can certainly continue to keep prayers around her and around our entire situation with the hope that something gets through to her over the next week and a half away from us -- even if it's only at the subconscious level to be retrieved/revealed later when she moves farther along through this journey.
Still no word on the job issue, but having lunch with a friend at the school district main admin building early this week with the hope that there might be some accidental run-ins with some decision-makers there (fingers crossed!)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
