Karma thanks for stopping by my thread, I have been reading your thread but at this point I don't feel confident enough to say much about anyone's situation.
Actually there has been six OM, I actually forgot one on my last post and the fifth I posted but didn't give him a separate paragraph.
The OM I missed on my last post was during the time we were not married but I was living with her. She went to rehab for her opiate addiction and returned with a 19 yr old kid she was going to help stay clean. (I moved back home just a few days before she went to rehab) I caught her sleeping with this kids older brother who was an ex con. She had relapsed on painkillers and he would supply them free for sex.
At that point I detached completely, sent my children to live with my sister out of state and planned to move to where my sister was. W or Ex W at the time cleaned up her act and we got back together in Nov of 05 then remarried in Dec of 07.
Why am I still trying? I am convinced that her brother raping her repeatedly has led to the addiction problems and promiscuity. Several therapists have told me this and my own research backs up their theories. I am going to work on my GAL goals and 180s for myself . I wasn't a perfect husband by any means, I displayed a lot of anger over the OM issues and also didn't understand opiate addiction in the beginning. The GAL and 180s will help me in the future no matter what happens with W.
Jbird,
You've done a lot of soul searching and personal work. Good for you! That's really admirable.
So now let's say you really do work on the temper and negativity. Let's say you become a more positive person, a happier person. What a gift to give yourself!
That IS within your control. Also, you'll be GAL and doing the 180s you want, so a lot of things you've wanted to change, will happen.
The last line above in your post, is what YOU MUST REMEMBER AT ALL TIMES...
your future will be better, no matter what happens with the marriage.
Hold onto to that truth, b/c the best news in this situation is that YOU are in charge of all of that.
Now you must Make it so.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
