You know, Kat, my oldest son (28) was not diagnosed with Asperger's until he was in college. He's very extroverted, but cannot read social cues, is super nerdy, and gets very anxious.
It was not as big a problem when he was high school, because he was in a special program for gifted kids, many of whom also had Asperger's traits. In college his best friend and room mate actually had way worse Asperger's than my son!
As he's gotten older, he has struggled a bit more, as he lags behind his peers in milestones. He did finally have a real-life not-online girlfriend last year though! And when she turned out to be crazy as a bedbug, he handled her with great maturity. As he has learned more about his condition, he has gained some insight into what goes wrong in his social interactions, and he tries to modify his behaviors, with some limited success.
What I would recommend for your daughter: - vitamin D. Look up the Vitamin D council for some interesting research on vit D deficiency and autism spectrum disorders. - gluten-free diet. This has been very helpful to my son. - find a book called Helping the Child who doesn't fit in - exercises to help improve skills like reading social cues - find her a group of peers - what saved my son as a kid was being in this program with other similar brilliant kids, where he could relax and be himself - when she goes to college, she may need more support than you realize. We thought since my son was so smart he would do fine in college - unbeknownst to us, his social anxiety really kept him from finding study buddies, from asking the right questions to get services, and he became seriously depressed and had to drop out for a while. - karate was great for my son as a kid, gave him the physical confidence o withstand bullies. - if I had it to do over again, knowing what I do now, I would have focused more on helping him acquire unique work skills. He's finally graduating with a degree in history this year, but that won't likely get him a good job despite being from a prestigious university. Many paths are not open to him due to his Asperger's issues (he can't become a schoolteacher, for instance, as he lacks the social skills to deal with students and parents. He can't do sales.) He still needs to acquire some unique technical skills that could get him a better paying job. That's our next challenge once he finally graduates. (Right now he works the night shift stocking shelves at the local grocery store.)
