How did you sitch turn out. I didn't read the whole story.
Right now, my family is together in the same house. W is in her own bedroom. She has filed for D and we are about half way through a 6 month waiting period for court date. She has missed the date to hand over all her financial documents. We have not begun negotiations. Neither of us is in any hurry to bring on the financial onslaught and loss of time with the kids. And yet, the countdown continues. I am fully prepared; W has not lifted a finger.
Some days she's talkative and friendly; most days she doesn't say a word. I don't know if there's an active A anymore or not - it really doesn't matter. She is in a very serious identity crisis, and she has a long way to go. I treat her with kindness. I'm sure that confuses and annoys her, but it shouldn't, it's consistent with what I've always been.
Meanwhile, I've been picking up bits of me that have fallen off over the past two decades, and I like it.
The situation may change before the court dates arrive, or it may not. I'll deal with it as it comes. I believe I can honestly say I'm not hoping for any particular outcome other than I hope my W can stabilize in some situation for the sake of the kids.
It took me a while to get here, but I'm quite comfortable.
Quote:
If you really love someone, you have to let them go. If they don't come back they were never yours.
I always found this a little syrupy. If they don't come back, maybe it's because they were conned by a predatory cheater, or mugged in a dark alley. Or maybe once their moral boundaries are breached, they can't see a way back, etc. etc.
And I disagree with the never part. The thing is, my W was mine, in so much as anyone ever is; but no one ever is, and W was a very different person then. They are always free to go, and that's what you have to accept.
