I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[Frank75]

Hi Frank, I'm sorry that you find yourself here but you're in the right place.
I came here 3 weeks ago and it does help to know there you're not alone.

I know exactly how you feel Frank, and I would recommend you do see your doctor. I've needed to see mine regarding depression & anxiety and antidepressants do help. They won't solve everything but you'll at least be able to think more clearly and right now, you need your gameface on.

Our sitch's are quite similar. Ok, my W didn't squirrel money away beforehand, she just walked out on her family 4 days before Christmas Day. She's saying all the things yours has though and she's being just as cold too. What you have to remember is that they will say they don't want to hurt you, but because they've come to this decision over a long period of time (even though you thought things were ok), it becomes just part of a necassary process for them.

Obviously you're living arrangements are an issue at the moment. I've read why you can't stay in the house etc so once you find somewhere, my advice for you in the short term would be to remain calm (as difficult as that seems), and take care of yourself. I know it's tough to hear brother but you need to get your head around the fact that right now, she doesn't want you. I'm not saying don't have hope, but you need to balance that with the possibility that any efforts you make may not change her feeling that way.

My BD was only 4 weeks ago so I'm as new to this "pulling back" concept as you are. Just try to keep a PMA and detach as best you can right now.
Detaching doesn't have to mean you don't want to work things out or you're giving up, it's just that you can then at least get through your day without thinking about her with every breath you take. It helps trust me.

Keep posting and take care.

Barry

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement, Barry, it means a lot.

I'm trying to hold my head up, i'm also still trying to wrap my head around all of this. Wife has been working the late shift so I see her like 2 hours a morning and then she's gone. This morning she told me that she's spending another night in a hotel tonight because it's too much to be around me right now. I'm "too depressed" and she thinks i'm using that for sympathy...which i'm not. I'm sorry i'm not packing boxes a week after the love of my life told me to get out.

The shitty thing is yesterday I had a decent second half of the day. I was trying to wrap my head around detachment, trying to at least visualize moving out, trying to block the nonstop recurrent bad thoughts etc. I thought i'd wake up today and have a decent day, positive interaction with her, etc but nope.

She told me this morning "this would be so much easier if you weren't always so nice", that was a kick in the gut too. Well, i'm never going to stoop down to that level so i'm not sure what she wants out of me. I wish she would have noticed this "too nice" thing while she was plotting all of this.