I'm so sorry for recent developments - you must be reeling after that. I posted a reply to you on my sitch before reading this. If it helps at all, I heard that our R was 'over' through a mutual friend back in November. H had told me the previous month that he was 'lost and confused' and 'not moving right now' in terms of making a decision. Our contact is dim/dark atm.
He hadn't asked our friend to tell me that it was over, but she felt awful 'knowing' and 'knowing that I didn't know.' I told her that I would be grateful if she didn't tell him she had told me. I said to her that I was sure if he had made a decision, he would tell me herself. She agreed with this.
He never has told me since, and we are two months further on now! It sounds like your H is all over the place, and IMO, whilst he may be asking his parents for help, they should only be supporting from behind and not doing what they have done - totally inappropriate.
Also, I'm with Ganbite on the no kids comments. H and I don't have kids, but I have known SS since he was 3, and lived with him at weekends since he was 7 (he's 14 now.) I know not having kids together means there could be a 'clean break,' but that's still hard to come to terms with. I'll still post the 6 factors later as promised, just in case it's of any use.
Sending you my very best wishes, Toots x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
