Wife having emotional affair part 4

[sandi2]

Very good job!

[SunnyB]

3kids, I was impressed reading that. You handled that beautifully!

[3kids]

I have a question for the board.

I have been paying for basically everything for the kids. As far as school goes and sports. Never asking for money from her. Just recently I started to ask the wife to pay half of the house lawyer bills. Which is a couple hundred bucks. I think it's fare if she pays half of that. Now she asked me to pay half of the oldest school year book. Not a big amount, 40 bucks.

I have to admit I'm kind of frustrated with this. Who does she thinks pays for all that stuff and I never asked for a dime. Now that I asked for half of house lawyer fees. She gets to ask for this. Petty! If she would have said hay 3kids I don't have enough money can you get this. No problem.

So, do I try and push this off until next time with the kids and just ask for half of the future stuff. Since I didn't correctly set this stuff in stone. Or do I confront her and say I think you should cover this because I got the rest of the other stuff before.

I think I'm leaning towards the first choice. Because I didn't correctly put this in stone. But I don't want to be a dormat either.

Thanks
3kids

[SunnyB]

3kids, just to clarify, you owned a house together that you sold recently? And you each live in a different place now? Do you and your W make approximately the same thing, or is there a big disparity? Did you ask her for the lawyer's fees just because you jointly owned the house, or because it's actually fair financially?

In my case, if H asked me for a penny, I'd be offended, worried, and probably file immediately. But he makes 5 times what I do. I expect him to foot most of the bills, now and in the future. But I know that's not realistic for most people. So, I'm just trying to understand what your sich is.

[3kids]

First off thank you so much Sandi and Rppfl. You two are amazing women. Sandi for sticking with this board for so long and helping so many people. Rppfl for being so strong with your sich. I follow yours and Hp's thread and have learnt so much from different view points.

Rppfl, we are in the process of selling our old house. She moved back into it after I moved out and stopped making payments. Because I was underwater on it and it was not cost affective for me to keep living there and supporting my kids. So she only pays for utilities. She makes half of what I do. And I pay child support on the suggestion of my lawyer. I asked for half of the lawyer fees because it was a joint house.

Thanks
3kids

[SunnyB]

Awwww, 3kids, that's sweet. Thanks.

I think you were right to ask for half the lawyer's fees, that makes sense to me. But unfortunately, it seems to have triggered a nickel and dime p!ssing match with your W.

My personal opinion is that I'd say, sure W, I can pick up half of this book if you are tight on money right now, but going forward, I don't want to have to track who's paying what for the small stuff. I think it's been working well the way it was, why don't we just keep it that way. And see what she says. If I were her I wouldn't mess with what she's got going right now.

I'm sure there are other people out there who are actually in the thick of this sort of thing, hopefully they'll overlook my unintentional attempt to monopolize your thread and chime in here for you.

[3kids]

I think what I'm going to do, since I have to meet with her in a couple of hours. I'm going to give her the money and not say a word. Because last week she asked if she could have her whole child support check and she would pay me back at the end of the month. So she could be short on cash. Plus weather I should think like this or not. She could be trying to get a rise out me. Since delivering the oldest to the house when OM was there. She has never wanted me to meet him. And that could have pushed a button on her. There is a lot going on right now with me and the kids doing stuff. That she is jealous of. I do know her better then anyone. So I think avoiding the situation all together is the best option today. Leave it for a different occasion.

Thanks again
3kids

[3kids]

Sorry about this but I just realized something. I didn't look at this as a positive. She is acutely going to pay half of something. Now that's changing my thinking. She has never paid for half of anything for the kids. Done with thinking about this. I was just frustrated because it was money.

3kids