I get what your saying. as far as me moving out can you advise. Months ago before I knew wife had said she needed space . Temporary seperation is what we agreed. Last week just before I knew and when I found out again she was saying I had never given her any space.she has no idea what she is doing and can't think.Now knowing what I know am I still wise to move out? At the moment it's like a pressure cooker. My daughter almost found me on the couch this morning. I'm trying to be friendly and civil because of our daughter but I'm sure she knows something is wrong. Most people seem to say don't move out although I have seen the odd one who has. I have no leverage as if I say I'm staying then she will move and financially I can't manage.
If you can't manage financially to live there without her, then find a place you can afford. I see it as protecting yourself financially, and you won't be dependent on her. That is important. Another thing that is important is to remove yourself from being her chief cook and bottle washer..........and every thing else she is use to you doing. The WAW needs to be hit with reality hard & fast. As long as you rescue her or do every thing for her, it won't happen. She will continue just as she is and your M won't stand a chance.
Living apart can lead to couples working things out. Let me point out a couple of things. First of all, if she's in an A, her reasons behind a S and your reasons will probably be different. Sure she is not saying that to you, but she just wants you out in order to get on with her life. In the meantime, you think you are S for the purpose of giving her space and working on saving the M. Two entirely different camps.
My advice is to get far enough you can't be considered in the same neighborhood and you don't have to drive by her place to get to yours. This is to help you. Have NC except for necessary co-parenting. She says she wants space..........give her lots. Have zero expectations. If this has a chance, it will take her time to get through her mess and then make her way back to you. The best way of speeding it up is to stay out of her way. Build a life for you and your D8. You cannot stand in your door watching to see if she's coming yet, and checking your calendar to see why she's taking so long. Know what I mean? It doesn't work that way. What works is you turning loose.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
