Busy day for me today - GALing at a calligraphy workshop. I have been to a few of these in recent months, and am getting to know the group a little better.

I can be a bit quiet and self-contained if I don't know people, but I made an effort to chat to a couple of new people today and it was very nice. I'd like to get better at connecting with people. Sometimes, I focus too much on what people might think of me, and that means I withdraw a little in fear - and then I don't establish connections with them, which was what I had feared in the first place.

Something for me to work on some more I think. I do have some close friends, but they aren't in this area, and I would like to make new friends here too.

Feeling a bit negative about H at the moment. Remembering how he told me our R was 'perfect' after I discovered his EA. But at that point he had decided to start 'dating' women when he was working away. Then he told me how overwhelmed with love he was for me and wanted us to renew our marriage vows, then 2 weeks later his EA turned into a PA. I haven't felt that angry lately, but I felt angry today thinking of this. I do feel he didn't give us an opportunity to work on things and that he just checked out of our M without really telling me he was unhappy with 'us.' I know this happens in a lot of cases.

Did my bashing of pillows on the bed with a rolled up newspaper trick which helped. Other than that, all's well with me this weekend.

Toots :-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus