Old dog seeks new trick 7

[Vanilla]

Old Dog,

An I house s is so very difficult, especially if you are aware of nuance of the wayward or compulsive. My tactic is to observe without appearing to do so, this is Hertzberg philosophy. The observer changes the behaviour of the observed. Relax a little about W and toughen up on your own journey.

Old Dog, you need your GAL and lots of it, the fuller your own life the more attractive you become to yourself this is not for W but for you. Your plans, goals and activities are for you. Old Dog it sounds to me like you are laid back with your life and a good 180 may be to develop some strong goals that are appropriate drivers for you. You would know what they are, not work related perhaps but with an interest in people there are some GAL activities which will be very meaningful for Old Dog. A new outlook and interest will help you focus.

I detect in Old Dog a wonderful delicious sense of humour and a serious interest in the people around him, together with a willingness to experiment and explore his own nature. All of that makes Old Dog very attractive as a person. Expressive, caring and witty inimitable combination, devastating almost.

Stockdale Paradox, sadly not all situations are as clear cut as Stockdale. Accepting the reality of the position is excellent and I really do believe in it. But nothing is fixed in our world, the fire may or may not be at the door. The Indians may or may not be surrounding the wagons. Your W and my H will have their own reasons for staying S in the same location, in general that will relate to hygiene factors rather than motivation to R. If the hygiene factors are solid then more motivation to interaction is important to repair the R. all in good time.

Laughter, music, singing in the shower, cooking delicious meals, going GAL are all very attractive. RD creates a wonderful attractive family atmosphere that keeps W coming back for more. Financial stability, happiness and your own life are key for you. Jim adores his children, Edz cooks and has a BFT and has fun with his S. We all have each other here to guide us.

Old Dog, GAL for your life and set some new goals for you. If your old M is over then that is so, there is also the chance of a new R when Old Dog becomes a master of being the man only a fool would leave. For that you will need GAL, overdosed in spades.

You could try looking at a detatchment technique called reframing. It's based in psychological theory called NLP. But it means changing the way you look at things, including changing the modalities (sight, sound, touch......). Here is a link to a free resource I use for work issues. It may help.
http://reframe.thnk.org

Enjoy your relaxation and bath
Vanilla