Old dog seeks new trick 7

[Old Dog]

Hi Maybell. It wasn't termed an in house separation but maybe that's what it is. We did explain to the boys that we weren't a couple but still living together. This is what she offered on bomb day - an unconventional arrangement.

We rent the house we live in. It's too small for our needs and costs too much for its size. We rent out the house own. We didn't want to live in there any longer. We lose financially on this arrangement so we want to sell it.

Yes, as far as she's concerned "it's over, it's run its course, it is what it is". It is very slow and incredibly painful. Every weekend a mini death.

I don't know about the Stockdale paradox, I'll have to look it up.

I am a good guy but also a nice guy, that also depresses me. Who would want to get back together with a nice guy? There so much work to do and I feel stuck and unsure. My wife would have help me but she has cutie adrift.

And so I find myself at this low ebb after 8 months of trying really hard to change. I don't want to be here right now. I don't want her or the boys to see me like this. I can't look in the mirror. It's all ****.

I want to scream at her "what the **** do you think you're doing? We should be working our hardest to see if we can save our relationship, not throwing in the towel and cheating".

I just went for a walk in the sunshine and listened to a funny podcast along the way to try and take my mind off things and I still feel like this.