May the truth,

[Ggrass]

I know I had a dream about h last night, first non night mare I have had. Strangely I had only dreamt about him once in our whole life together.

It was many years ago and h cheated, it pervaded my day and his reaction which was to treat it as a joke and pick at me kept me feeling off about it.


Last night dream which I can't really remember the details now, I know was a closure dream. It just closed everything off. I woke feeling so much lighter today, not bad for a non morning person who got woken by closest neighbour shooting at either ducks or cockatoos. I did go back to sleep, quite happy remembering it, but now it's escaped.

I think we focus on forgiveness a bunch around here, but you too can write your own closure story. It can be anyway you want, it has nothing to do with them.

I think like shining as I have been thru this before, that's why I kind of knew what to do. I was however no immune from thinking my h was different and I could be a friend while the ow was around. Later I pulled that out of the water with his lies and him telling me he had not done right by me $ wise. He didn't say that out loud but his actions and what he did say gave the game away.

Wise lesson learnt from db.

I need to be more switched on as I now firmly believe with h, he wasn't 100% honnest.
He wasn't really committed and the whole thing did shine thru which is why I always felt on edge. His words were what he thought I wanted to hear but his actions wishy washy.

He did ask re my needs to he could avoid delivering on them. lL is quality time, closely followed by acts of service. Often h would complain when I stated a need that if I didn't measure up he would serve out punishment by withholding.

I think I am more aware, I see things others don't. I was a little this way from before, but am putit g it together much more now. The missing piece is putting things together in the real world, but that I'm guessing is a life's work.