My WAH told me the only reason I didn't want a divorce is because I don't like change. He has blamed me for every single negative in his life: his career not being where he has always dreamed it would be, his weight gain and inability to lose the weight, his depression, his lack of involvement in D7's life. He blames me for him not making as much money as he wants... Basically I'm at a fault for everything in his life.
Now that he has moved out he's miserable (he hasn't told me this but D says he never smiles anymore, I've noticed he has gained more weight, hasn't worked in a year, drinks quite a bit and has suddenly started smoking a pipe, yes, a pipe).
His requirement that you move out is his attempt at controlling you and getting you out of his way. You matter. Breathe that in. Seriously, find your value and worth so he can no longer have the power to erode your self esteem in ANY way. Start by calling a L and standing firm in your home.
Calling his bluff by moving out will backfire. Do what you can to not be home when he is... Or at least be in a different room doing something else. Cut your talks down to pleasantries only and give him no opportunity to verbally attack you. Say, "I won't stand to be spoken to in that way." And walk away. Show your children, and yourself, what is appropriate treatment of a human with whom you disagree.
He's in a thick cloud of blame and he's angry, that's clear but you are under NO obligation to take responsibility for his feelings. Give them back to him. You take your own feelings and work throught them, privately. Give him his own back. Don't let them stick when he hurls them at you.
