I never thought about wanting to catch me doing something wrong for justification purposes --I'm definitely not going to give her reason to justify ending marriage. A few weeks ago, I went out to catch a movie, she went out and then stayed at her mother's over night. Next day she asked me why the blinds were closed in LR ---thought it was strange, like she was trying to catch me doing something. Since I've been doing my 180's especially going out, she seems more inquisitive of my whereabouts. I don't ask her about hers, but she always seems to question me.
My W is definitely concerned with appearances and what people may think of her. It's frustrating that she on some days could basically ignore me, yet wish my uncle a big ol' "Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day Uncle J!" I've confided in some family. ---but I haven't even told my own sister yet and this is going on 3 months. I don't want them to think ill of her and our relationship if we were to ever reconcile.
Also seems like the more 180, the more she is also if that makes sense. Before the 1st of the year she would mope around house, all while she was still seeing OM. She was disengaged from kids, moody, and manic highs and lows especially with kids) Ever since the first of the year, she seems to be trying to show that everything is great. --- so I guess that my 180s have made her take notice, but I'm not sure if her reaction is good or bad.
The biggest obstacle (among them all, and there are lots)really is pride. I know I should be concentrating on me, but I almost can't see her overcoming this. I'm afraid her pride, which in past (just not recently but through entire relationship)has prevented introspection, admittance of wrong doing, or apologies will prevent her from ever meeting me half away. I would love , but never expect to her cry and ask for forgiveness--especially anytime soon. It's almost as if she would like to stand there with a match and gasoline and burn down the relationship versus having any meaningful introspection.
M44, W38 S5,S3 Met - 09/07 Engaged - 2/08 Married - 11/08 New house - 10/13 Bomb dropped - 11/14 EA confirmed - 11/14 PA - strong suspicion WAW Plastic surgeries - 12/14 WAW stopped wearing rings - 12/31/14
