I feel that I am at a crossroads with my situation.
My W and I S, W left the house, early in December and are not speaking too much. Texts maybe once a week or once every other week, no talk of the R (not by my choosing, but W doesn't want to talk about it or work on it at all, so I'm backing off).
We met up only a couple times since the S and the first time was just after the S and not much progress, and the second time a couple weeks ago, where I since had been making a lot of positive progress and changes in my life. I heard that my W felt like she "didn't know the guy she was talking to", I feel that she may be overwhelmed by the amount of positive and new changes I am making in my life, and that those blind-sided her from seeing that though there are a lot of new changes, I still am the man she fell in love with and married. I feel that we will need more interactions and meet-ups before she is able to see that I am genuinely making changes for myself, not to just win her back, and that the changes I am making are all out of love and positivity, that would only enhance myself as an individual and myself within the relationship. As well, more interactions to show her that I am still myself and still the man she had all of the good memories, laughs, fell in love with and married.
But, there was the threat of legal separation and divorce in late December, no talk of it since, and there was no talk of it when we met up a couple weeks ago.
This is where I feel time is of the essence though. I'm not sure if she is going to drop that bomb, and I'm too afraid to ask, and frankly I just don't want to. I don't want to be the one to bring up negative thoughts, or put those thoughts in her mind.
So, what do I do now?
I asked her yesterday if she would care to have lunch together this weekend, she said she is going out of town (I'm very curious where she is going, but I figure I shouldn't infringe on that unless she tells me), but that maybe we can get together next week. I'm taking this as a good sign. I don't think I should bring up talks of the relationship or try to talk through everything or tackle any of the issues, but if we are able to meet up, just try to be very positive, loving and just have a good time together.
Does that sound like a good direction?
On the other hand, I am very very curious if a grand romantic gesture would be the saving grace that is needed right now. I don't know her address, she hasn't given it to me, but I know the apartment complex she is living in. I also know where she works. What if I just go to her one night and knock on the door and proclaim my deep and undying love for her, that I've fought off and completely removed the demons that were keeping me from being the husband that was wanted while things were bad, and that will never happen again, and just embrace her... What if that is what is needed right now? I have no idea.
Though, being devil's advocate, she has given me no indication of me wanting to present a "Say Anything" moment, or to come sweep her off of her feet. She has really given me no indication that she wants to reconcile or work through anything, to be honest. I fear that doing this could possibly be the nail in the coffin. But, what if she is relying on my intuition and that she feel maybe she shouldn't need to give me a hint and that maybe I should, for lack of a better term "man up" and go rescue her.
But, what if it is what will save us?! I just don't know. I would love to do this and go sweep her off of her feet. I don't want it to seem like I am giving up or that I am hiding in a corner. I feel like I am spinning my wheels or sitting on my hands at times. I guess this is probably my impatience sitting in.
But, on the other hand, should I just continue to be patient, reaching out once a week or so and trying to "date" her again?
Or should I just completely do my own thing right now and hope that she comes around? She very well knows that I more than anything want us to work out and that my love for her will not diminish. When we talked in person last time I said bottom line, I am not giving up on you or us and that I will always love you, unconditionally so.
Sorry I am all over the place and being erratic here, but with the potential threat of divorce, I feel so nervous and that maybe if there is a time to stand up and act it is now. But I do keep the saying in mind, "Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see..." I hope this applies here and for her.
Any advice, similar stories or direction would be very much appreciated.
