Heather - I think the MLCers part time hobby is suckering us back in to extended conversations.
Your message, while excellent, was much too long. Communication with MLCers is best kept short - we tend to use it to offload a lot of deeply held feelings. They can't deal with that level of information for starters, let alone the complexity of emotion.
I begin by saying everything I want to say, then i cut it ruthlessly to up to three main points, and say each like a headline.
They aren't reading the editorial honey-child, and even the headlines are a stretch.
Most recently my xh contacted me to complain that I had singlehandedly alienated the children (now aged 35, 33 and 28 - go figure) and he wanted to have a relationship with them. He then told me that I had approached him to have this discussion (?) I simply said that whoever had done it, it was a honourable thing to do, which cut the ground from beneath his feet!
Didn't argue the toss about anything else - just sent a short and pleasant email saying that it wasn't very likely given their ages, and would he like us all to sit down together and talk it through? And even that probably overburdened the guy (he has a PhD and has published a number of books, so not generally stupid)
