Requesting support and direction

[RosaLinda]

Congratulations Andy, on starting school on Monday. Lots of big changes in your life -- 2015 is going to be a hard but great year for you! Please please take care of yourself though. Nursing school is HARD, as is filing for D, having your W move out, suddenly becoming a single parent. Stress is a killer, and lots and lots of LBS, including myself, have worn themselves and their immune systems down to the point of getting really sick. I've read posters who said they got ulcers, came down with autoimmune diseases, skin conditions, even a couple who got cancer. After working as a nurse for over 30 years, and being healthy as a horse, being exposed to and fighting off all kinds of germs, I contracted Hepatitis C 5 months after bomb drop. And honestly do not think that was a coincidence. Please take good care of yourself.

Monday I start school, today I was able to elicit the help of some female friends to advise me on style and fashion. Like I told them I want to be the good looking single Dad not the down and frumpy looking one.

This made me laugh. You will feel better about yourself if you do not look frumpy, and will be more attractive to your wife too, remember you are turning yourself into the man only a fool would leave! But I agree with Vapo, be wary of getting into a new relationship at this point. The DB Process works, honestly, but you have to follow all of the steps and do all of the work. The step you're on is detaching, and you sound as if you ARE really starting to detach.

I guess my question is, is this line of thinking ok? Can it exist and I can still take the DB approach? Does this come as you detach more? If you were to ask me if I still want my marriage to work out? If I still love my wife and don’t believe that divorce is the answer to our problems, my response would be yes. I just feel that right now her moving out is probably a really good thing… Maybe it’s that I need my own space right now, free of the constant barrage of BS that is her S@#t storm. My kids I think need it too. I don’t know…. thoughts? Good? Bad? Normal?

In my opinion, for what it's worth LOL, it will be good for you and your girls to have your own place (I am assuming the kids will be with you most of the time?) and escape from the spew. That must be hard and hurtful to your girls too, to see their dad treated like that. Divorce is really hard on everyone. When is she moving?