Update: I am in a great place right now. I have been consistent at the gym and the track. Making new friends. Went a work-vacation week with a friend. Women are coming up to talk to me. It feels good to be wanted again. I finally have a life. The thought of my M still comes but it does not bother me as much anymore. I feel as if I am in the process of letting go of my M and opening a new door for a new M with my W or someone else. I feel confident and happy.
Last Saturday, W and I attended our S's soccer game. It was the first time where it was not awkward to be in each other's presence. There was no conversation still. A few months ago, I would have been sad and angry at the fact my W does not speak to me, that she does not want me and that she chose someone else over me and our family. I would have blamed myself for the failure of our M. Now, I am knowledgeable. This is not all my fault. My friends insist that I take the lead and I file for D. There reasoning is that I am young and have plenty of time to start over. They believe I am wasting my time fighting for someone who clearly wants out and wants to be with OM. Their recommendation goes against my belief and I still believe in my M. I still Love my W. I owe my children at least a chance at having both parents at home. That is why I am here.
I have reread DR/DB in order to make sure I am applying the principles correctly. I don't have confirmation that she is having an A but I rather believe that she is and fighting an A is a lot tougher than I had originally thought. I have changes to myself to look more appealing and I am a great father. Since my role as a H is no longer needed, I do not act as such. I don't contact her unless it is necessary. I do not try to take the temperature of our relationship or lack of it. I do take notice when they are changes to her behavior when I have a chance for a 180, but no movement towards R. LRT is difficult because of the kids. Our parenting plan changes constantly and we need to communicate.
What do you guys think? What should I do?
Me:28 W:24 M:4 years S5 Step son 5, S2 Separated: 07/01/14 DB:01/09/15 Possible OM, not sure
Me:28 W:24 M:4 years S5, SS5, S2 Separated: 07/01/14 Asked for D 1/09/15
