1) Forget about H. Seriously. File for divorce if it benefits you financially, stay as you are if it benefits you. (If you're getting close to 10 years married, wait until after 10 years if you can - gives you the option to collect on his social security benefits later if you want.)
2) Focus on SD. You are now the closest thing this girl has to a mother and she NEEDS you. See if you can get H to agree to a visitation schedule. Take as much time with her as you can get. She's vulnerable and at risk. And read him the riot act about leaving a 13 year old girl all alone overnight. I know you probably don't have a legal right to visitation (but check with a lawyer) but he may well let you step up to the plate anyway if he's that selfish right now.
I agree 100% with KML.
Your SD needs a parent. If her mom is not around or is incapable of providing the support and love that SD needs, then I would contact a L or see if you can get your H to agree that on X days SD is with you.
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I know if I say anything right now about him not coming home he will deny it or say SD was exaggerating he got home earlier. Then he will give her crap for telling me. I told her that the next time he's out really late to call me and I will come get her. Or maybe I will just go there and sleep on the couch. If I catch him he can't deny and then I can say something.
You can confront him about it - I suspect you are correct he will deny and then b*tch to SD about it. Personally, I would save her the grief of having to deal with a selfish dad right now. Maybe...SD would agree to stay with you on X days so that she has some consistency in her life.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
