Separation Hell.

[susana4]

Don't give up! I think Michele says in the book that sometimes they might get angry so I think that's a normal reaction. Just keep trying different things and see what works. Think of it as an experiment. Just think of how to do a 180 on each individual way that you contributed. Is there anything specific he complained about, any problems he brought up?

For example, some 180s:
critical - you could compliment him and thank him for stuff he does (for example if he does something around the house).

Negative - continue being positive, optimistic and upbeat. Make some jokes and have a good time!

Insecure - "act as if" you are confident (and also work on boosting your self-confidence)

Always have to be right - well done on not getting sucked into the fight, carry on with this and don't take his bait! I have this problem too! Here's what I'm trying to do (sometimes with more success than others): If you disagree with him on something, walk away or take a deep breath before you answer to gather your thoughts. If it's not a big deal, let it go. If it is something you think you need to discuss, tell him calmly your view and explain your reasoning. Don't push your view on him, and ask calmly and non-judgmentally ask him why he thinks what he does. This is hard for me but I figure it's really worth it because it's something I'd like to learn in general in life. Someone recommended me a book called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I've just started it but I hope it's going to help with my need to 'win' arguments!


You also need to get out/GAL ("get a life", another concept from the book). What was it that attracted him to you that you might not be doing anymore? And what makes you happy? If you've stopped painting, for example, take it up again. Connect with friends and family and find time to go out with them. Take up a new hobby you've always wanted to try!

Let us know how it goes!