Card29 X - Let It Be

[Card29]

I am! I was able to "mourn" my credit score, so that isn't weighing me down as heavily. Yesterday I turned down an invite from WAW to join her at a spinning class. Today she asked to come over and visit D2. We shared a couple of nice hugs. I do think she is feeling better, hopefully not as depressed. She's been up and down (bad day last Friday), but I'm happy for her that she is at least having some good days.

I kind of get the impression that she's interested in me (could be wrong, but I'm not obsessing about it). If those feelings do exist, I wonder if they are rebound emotions. Her OM dumped her about 6 weeks ago. She was "in love" for several months with that guy, so I'm expecting her to go through all of the normal processes of any other breakup


Something about me I've been thinking about: I've realized the highest hurdle in breaking free from my MNG tendencies is discerning my emotions, needs and desires, especially in the moment. One typical MNG tendancy is being a chameleon, being who you think those around expect you to be (good son, perfect husband, one of the guys, etc). I wasn't a clinical case of that, but I have exhibited some of it. Obviously my feelings for WAW are naturally complicated, so I'm just giving that time. But things like what I want to say to my mom regarding how D2 is disciplined, what I want to do with my dogs...I realize I have a hard time deciding what I want as opposed to going with what I think others expect/want from me. I feel like I'm starting to break from that cycle, but still a lot of work and time remaining.