"It doesn't matter how YOU consider it. It matters how SHE perceived it. Do you like it when someone raises their voice to you? If not, then why do you think your W liked it when you did it to her? What you say and the TONE in which you say it is what matters. Have you changed this?"
I agree my tone was bad. I am working on changing my tone.
"What was your last face to face like when she moved out? Were you angry at her and raised your voice then?"
The last time we spoke was 2 months ago. My tone was quite somber. The conversation was very brief.
"I haven't done anything with her family for 2 years. She said this was one of the reasons why she left and not going to church in years."
Is this something you're willing to change? If not, then why should she want to come back?
Yes, but at this point she says it doesn't matter to her.
"How active were you in finding a job? Not necessarily in "your field but just employment in general? Did she ever talk to you about how she wished she had more help rather than being the primary breadwinner?"
Outside of my field I was somewhat active. Not active enough. She did talk about wanting more help financially and for me to find work somewhere. That is when my pride and anger would get in the way.
Be honest here. Did you only hold her or cuddle her when you wanted sex? Or when you felt insecure? Women want to be held and cuddled by men in a position of strength. What else have you changed besides your anger? How do you look physically? What about your self-confidence?
Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. I am trying be the person I was 10 - 20 years ago. Going to church regularly, being more understanding, loving and listening. Physically I'm 5 to 10 pounds overweight. Self confidence is shot.
