First GAl, not to much, went on a 'date' saturday night and met a very attractive, clever and charming lady. Did nothing for me and she has asked to meet again but I don't think its for me. Not sure if its just this lady or (as advised) not ready to be with someone else.
the reason does not matter RD
I have been walking a bit and myself and kids have started on Back to the future films.
Secondly, my mood in general. I have been a bit more upbeat of late and seeing that I have been taking to much of the blame re my M. I think 50-60% would be about right and I was taking almost 100%. I think at first you rush to 'correct ' your faults ( and rightly so) in a hope that the WAS will see the change but as time passes and you become the preson you want(and should have been) you realise your own self worth. I was not a great husband but neither was I a terrible one. I had faults and still do but I also have many good qualites that should be admired and respected by a spouse.
it is about time you gave yourself a break on this one. So V is cheering in the background. Think football hooligan and rattle. Come on RD. The fact of the kidney transplant had not escaped my notice either with all of those drug related issues.
I apprectiate that the WAS might have tried to work on the M and I did not notice and thats one thing that I truly regret but also can't change.
thirdly. Set backs !!!!!! i went to a relaxation class last wednesday and it did not go well. It showed me that while I thought I was dealing with W and her OM, I am not. I simply was putting it behind a wall and not allowing myself to accept it and the implications it has for my M.
Seems to me the relaxation class was doing exactly what it was supposed to do. It released you. I would be doing more of this if I were you RD. Standing queuing to get in. V says more, more, more....
W is gone from family home for almost 4 months now and remains with OM. I try not to mind read but facts are facts. Our M is finished and I must move on. I find it very difficult to accept but facts are facts.
One to Tango RD.
lastly, W. While I have continued to treat W as a neighbour and vaildate her feelings she appears to be getting more and more upset. In recent calls she has told me that she is more unhappy now than she was at home. She no longer likes her new, she hates the drive to her new flat and she is very unhappy with her work at the moment. On the latest call she seemed vey upset and while crying down the phone told me that she finds it hard to face the kids "after what she has done to them". She feels that she is not in their lives anymore and that they have no respect for her as a mother. She has talked about seeing L/C again but has made no arrangements.
This could be very good. RD WAW is evaluating her choice, reality is biting. Let it, please let W work through this. Keep yourself strong and move forward. RD is becoming a man only a fool would leave. Now may be the time to pull back RD, it may be a sign W is rethinking her choices. Even if temporarily and OM is no charmer or catch for sure. W broke up her marriage and left her family for what? W may need to know there is a road home when she is ready to R without the A.
I was with L/C today and she was concerned that I was looking beyond the M and that I was letting thought take control. L/C is still of the belief that OM is nothing more than a good friend and W wants back to M, but a new improved M. Good session but not sure that I have what it takes to deal with my thoughts and that this will end any chance of a M regardless of what W decides.
I agree with LC on the basic premise but OM is an alcoholic and likely impotent and in love with the bottle not W, that means this is an unrequited EA. No good friend would encourage a mother to leave her H and her kids and then knowing that she is miserable to stay away. A good friend would discuss review and certainly suggest IC.
Thanks to all who post or read and I will be looking at all your posts today.
Take care RD
Lovely RD how are your beautiful D10 and D13 coping?
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
