The Hen House

[susana4]

I have often cringed hearing the way some women speak to their husbands in the store, as if they were toddlers or idiots. I bet they would not speak so rudely to a stranger, yet humiliate the person they should love and support most in the world in public. I cannot imagine how they speak in private, bet it's not pretty.

Ugh, I hate that too. Although in general I hate when people are rude or critical to each other in public, or put each other down. I find it so demeaning!

Susana, your husband might be confused and sort of an extreme case now, especially if he's in a MLC, but I think you are exactly right, and guys are NOT socialized to share their feelings like us women are. Have you read any books on the subject, like "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" by John Gray? That helped me a lot to understand how men are just wired differently from us, in the way they think and react. I never read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, but took the LL quiz online, and it was a revelation to me. As a "touch" person, I always thought that my ex did not love me because he did not like to be touched. Now I realize that he showed his love the best way he could, by doing stuff for me. I highly recommend you google the quiz online, and start showing your husband that you love him through your actions, in his love language.

I just recently read "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage" by Willard Harley and really recommend it, it will teach you a lot about how men's basic needs are different from ours. And also recommend it for anyone in a new relationship. The guy I am dating suggested it to me, and we read it together. But he is an exceptionally awesome guy

Thanks for the recommendations RosaLinda! I haven't read any of those, so some more things to add to my reading list (after I finish re-reading DR for the 3rd time!). I will pick up 5LL first because I've heard so much about it. I actually took the quiz a few years ago but had forgotten about the book. I just re-took it and I was pretty evenly split between words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time (maybe I'm too demanding!). I read through it and I'm not really sure what language H is, I think either acts of love or touch. But I saw a really good tip in one of the articles so I thought I'd share it here (it seems DB appropriate too!) - they recommended if you're not sure which language your spouse speaks, to spend a week trying each language out (and using that language on your spouse that week) and rotate each week, then evaluate at the end which one they responded to best.

Wow, he suggested reading it together? The guy you are dating sounds awesome! You're lucky!