I'm feeling upbeat and positive. Not necessarily about my sitch, because nothing has changed, that is, except my outlook.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually slowly getting over WAH. I mean, all this reliance on myself emotionally and physically has empowered me obviously. I'm starting to see that if we got back together it'd just be gravy to my life ... so long as I can keep from being enmeshed excessively again. I don't know.
I never want to go back to the person I used to be. I've changed a lot. I'm much more positive, less reactive, lighter, more patient, more fun-loving, more present and less scatter-brained and lost. I'm not done, obviously, but I like me. I like the direction I'm going, the things I'm discovering, the permission I give myself to make mistakes but still holding myself accountable to be the best me I can.
Talked to WAH on the phone last night about an appointment he took D7 to. He was worried and concerned and we talked about it. I was very level-headed, calm and grounded. I did not belittle, emasculate or talk over him. I listened, validated, encouraged and supported. I also kept it short and sweet. He said "you're right" TWICE. I don't think I've heard that from him in 10 years. Not that it matters, I don't care if I'm right but it is a sure sign of him allowing himself to be vulnerable because it is a fact that he is NEVER wrong.
It's not about right or wrong, at least not to me but he sees a lot of our situation that way. I see that as a bigger issue... an inability to feel safe enough to be ok with being wrong or telling the other person he/she is right without it taking a piece of your soul away.
HE said it and I didn't hear his soul crumble to the ground and break into a million pieces.
