Broken Heart...What now?

[Sotto]

Hi lovely Pink

IMHO, the L's have their job to do, but I think you should only file if or when you feel emotionally ready to do that. In a way, I just see it simply, and we've probably talked about this already. If you don't want to D, don't file. As you know, you may then have to respond to your H filing, but at least you know that you did all that you could to try and save the M.

You talk about his motives, why this and why that. I suspect (particularly if he is in MLC) that he is just in the tunnel without any real plan, lost and confused. Part of him still loves you, and longs for his family. Another part knows that he became unhappy. Then OW made him feel so good, and he's infatuated. But what if she's not the answer? What if you'll never forgive him? What if she's his saviour and he loses her? I think he is probably dealing with all sorts of overlapping fears right now, and probably has no clear idea of what he's doing. He's just looking for a way of feeling better.

So, I guess what I'm saying, is I wouldn't attribute any malice or motive right now...

In terms of talking to him. Just let him know when you feel ready to do this and think about what you want to know. When my H and I had the same talk, I asked him about the A, when it started, what happened, what happened next etc. Why did he feel this happened. We spoke for about an hour, and I just took it all in. Said thank you for telling me, and we agreed to speak again in a few days. All of this was pre-DB.

Maybe have a think about what it is you want to know, and ask those questions. There is no need for you to make any sort of response. But if you feel he is giving you honest answers, you can thank him for that. One thing I read around that time was - only ask what you can handle knowing - and I bore that in mind too.

You're doing really well Pink....sending lots of hugs to you (((((PINK)))))))