Dawgy- I agree that reading DB (or any similar type book) would have been very helpful in building a strong, A proof M. I've even considered giving DB as a marriage gift to friends. Hindsight...
I bet if you do an honest reflection of your 23 yr M, you'd be able to identify some type of signs that W was not happy. A comment here, an interaction there... I thought W and I were perfectly happy, but when I look back, I now see what were warning signs. I've also tried putting myself in W's shoes to realize how unhappy she must have been to finally speak up about her unhappiness. Like my W, I'm sure yours had an internal battle on her feelings- maybe 3 to 5 years (or more) of thinking 'I'm not happy, but maybe this is what M is like' eventually turns into 'I need/want out.' I don't think anyone goes from 100% happy one day to wanting to D the next- it's a slow process in most cases.
If you truly believe some of the things you've posted recently about your wife being weak, you pit her, how she makes you more bitter by the day, etc- then file for D tomorrow. But I worry that in your next R, these same anger issues will eventually arise.
